Are we eligible to change yet?

I haven't been posting anything here for a very very long time....Although a number of reasons [read "excuses"] can stagger out from my chain of...ahem..."creative" thoughts...I'd like to make it short and sweet and say that though life treated me both fairly and ridiculously in the time that has passed us by under the worldly denomination of a "year", I could not [read "did not"] make an effort to put forth my ideas of self-existence in beautiful words...On a more serious note, I have genuinely faced a writer's block and am finally making proper efforts to recover from it...This, I concluded from how drastically the number of poems I produce in an year,has fallen down [Numerical Statistics: The most scary proofs to subtly say you're a loser]...I know the point of writing is not how much you produce but what you produce...But with a person like me who finds it difficult to communicate with confidence through the verbal battle and speaks from the comfort zone of writing, it was a frustration beyond description...Not being able to write well,not getting enough ideas to storm your lazy mind maybe sweet to the ear for those who work on it more than they would like to, if they had the option....But not to a person like me who has a personality disorder of portraying herself as a completely different person through her writing...The person she really wants to be....The person she would crave to show to the world, but has not yet gathered the guts to....I'm not saying I'm a hypocrite, I don't lie...And I do not expose any such belief which does not have the affirmation of my conscience in it....But I definitely hide....I hide under the shadows of unreasonable low self- esteem and ease out of the discomfort of coming into the light by believing that this is not a good time to bring out my true self and put it on display for the world to see...And that is where the point lies....When should we start working on being that person we desperately wish we could be? As I said in my previous article...The first step to being yourself is trying to experiment...I'm sure I found the answer to a few questions about the nagging inner you that gives you a secretly regretful end to your non- productive day....But after all the thought provoking "gyaan" that we, as students of Mass Communication,the future leaders of the society[Am simply quoting the lecturers...choking and sniggering on statements is strictly prohibited] are forced to endure everyday...I finally realized that not everything these old folks say is gibberish as the popular belief in our generation goes....People today,specially around me, seem like they were born with oodles of self confidence right from the time they set their conscious foot on earth....Initially,I used to be intimidated by such people who would drown me in a complex with the sway with which they spoke...But now after spending a good while around such company,I assure you I'm wiser..Because it is all starting to get so superficial that sometimes I wonder, where is it on the path of life that we people lose ourselves and become somebody else? Where is it that we start on a journey by the end of which,we cannot recognize our own reflections? These are important questions that we should ask ourselves during self-monologue...I have determined why we should experiment and what will be the consequences if we don't....But am yet to discover where exactly we should put our foot down and say,"That's enough! I've dredged my conscience for enough strength,now I need to put all that energy to use and not let it rot within me!"
There are popular beliefs about different stages of our lives which determine what our sense of achievement will be in the end...Some say childhood is the phase where the right values should be taught so that they become a lifetime's lesson....some say youth is the time when morality can be induced....some say middle age is the life that we will truly remember in our last days...So it should consist of nothing that will make our death a dissatisfied end....And old age seems to include just one job:Remembering your past....and cherishing the love of the offsprings you have produced...the little dynasty you gave birth to....and ofcourse, depending on everyone but yourself to make it through every single day....But for me, all this is completely redundant....I've seen children, who, despite a great upbringing, turned out to be social trouble makers...The belief of teenage being a morality inducing period is definitely the biggest irony because it is widely known that most people go the "wrong" way in this phase,and some of them never return.....Middle age I've seen almost always, is not,as some would like to imagine,a phase to build sweet memories but a monotonous lean period of our life....and old age is nothing but a pain in the rear when it should have been all else than that....I'm not saying that the surroundings we live in and the teachings or values that we receive are not a part of our personality....I'm sure they are...What I really intend to put forth is that we can ultimately be the human beings we truly want to be if we allow ourselves,not withstanding our traditional values, forgetting what stage of life we are in and defying a few loud mouths in the process.....
Sunny side up, I've read in a book how a high level criminal became a social educator in the later part of his life....I've read and seen how an old man influenced more people in his golden age than he did in any other stage in life, due to his true sense of purpose....I've seen and experienced how a misguided, suicidal teenager became an idol of humour and optimism...I've seen a young man, hardly out of his "oh so sensitive teenage years" manage a life crisis of handling the loss of a loved one with simple courage and an urge to move on with the tides of time.....You know what, I believe that if you gave the same situation to two people who belonged to the same age, culture and gender,they would react to it differently....So what is it in us that doesn't take such biases into consideration? It is nothing but that quality of having a uniqueness that nobody in the world except us will have....I've heard a horde of sceptics say,"We are all unique,so that makes us the same, isn't it?"But even such people know deep down, that there is a weird quality in them which they are yet to witness in anyone else...that quality can be a talent, an expression or even a melting pot of lot of various abilities...a distinct mixture which others will not have....One can be happy about it, feel embarrased about it or remain unaware of it....But we cannot escape the possibility of its existence...Because we are the different flavors that make a cuisine delicious....all of us cannot have the same taste, or smell....then our lives would become easily replaceable.....But just as one condiment cannot perform for the other, so it is with our individual selves...
No matter what "ashram" of life you are in [as ancient Hinduism texts put it] you can work with time as well as defy age....You can be the change you want in the world with whatever eccentric experiments you have in your mind....I'm sure most of us tend to keep social acceptance in mind and I don't deny that it is vital for harmonious and non violent existence....But when you think of such things, think of the examples I gave you...Think of how people, who were ready to step out from the routines of their lives move ahead towards becoming their true selves....They may not have achieved the complete aim intended.....But at least they're already a step ahead of you in this quest.....So don't sit tied down by the norms you have been conditioned in.....think beyond bondage.....Because I've read this famous quote which says "twenty years from now,you will not regret things you did but things you didn't do"...So no matter where you are standing, don't waste time looking back and thinking why you didn't choose the road less travelled, earlier.....Think how you are saving time by not procrastinating your innovative adventure to a later stage of your life....Of how you still have time to become wiser before time ends.....Consider these terms of life but set your own diktat....and set out to put forth the real you for the world to see....to respect....and to adopt....because never forget that the entire world around you, will eventually forget who you were under your masks of social acceptance, and will accept your eccentricity gradually...But if you don't take your step towards the change,no one except you will regret not letting your creator feel proud to have given life to such a distinctly beautiful soul....It will only be you who will envy the "change embracing leaders" around you, while being stuck in the "society of followers" [as a famous newspaper puts it].....
Be the change...as soon as you realize where you want your potential to lead you...for it is never too late to start afresh and stand out.....

Standing Out In The Multitude....

   "Men at some time are masters of their fates: The fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings" That is what Shakespeare said,in Julius Caesar, and oh was he true! What instigates an ordinary person to become extra ordinary? Where does all that motivation actually come from?

   People often point out the endless injustice that life confers upon us more often than we would like.There is always a phase where they will either curse themselves or their fate,or perhaps any Tom, Dick and Harry around them for whatever is going against their planning and hopes.What I think is,why life puts us in situations where we don't want to be,is not something we can help.What we can help is holding on to who we are;at the grassroots level.Where the uniqueness and distinctive "X- Factor" of our characters lies.That's really something very difficult to catch hold of.For me at least.

   There are unreasonably numerous occasions when time and people make me wonder whether I really am something out of the box.Frankly,I still don't know.Because for me,rare are those people who are born with a golden fate.For most,fate is the malleable clay that they have to mold according to their dreams, their aspirations,and of course, their sense of belonging.An acquaintance of mine had once asked me a question that shook the cornerstone of my reason of living."When you often sit down to ponder about yourself, what exactly do you think you are made for?"

Ever since that day, I have developed a strong conviction that this question is the Quintessence for self-confidence.I mean,come to think of it, how many times do we really sit down to infer whether what we are doing today is really what we always wanted to do? Something we needed really badly in our purpose driven lives,so badly that we could not do without it?Something without which our life would have no meaning? 

   Many,if not most of us are shepherd driven flock, only that our shepherd happens to be the inevitable opinion of "people" ; whether it be our acquaintances or kith and kin.But can these people,who [and it has happened around me more than often] haven't really fulfilled what they themselves wanted at some time in their life,really help us know and understand who we essentially are? Can others really judge our worth, and our sense of purpose or the importance of our profound aspirations better than we can? Their experience and idea of the "big bad" world is valuable, no doubt. But how sure can we really be that they are not delving in conventionalism just because of what "others" will think about their awkward offspring who wants to pursue a career or a style of life that is usually shrugged off? And my question is,who are these "others" anyway? People who have successfully adapted themselves to playing someone else every single day so that they please a majority with their masks of falsehood?

   Why are we so scared of standing out?Why is the black sheep so condemned amongst the whites?Why,if it were not for these awkward ones,we would still be apes....And yet people have the audacity to say,"They were great people,something drove them on from birth...we are normal and ordinary"....This normality has become annoyingly synonymous to conventionalism...And it troubles my being to no end.....We are made to feel ashamed for trying and failing rather than for not trying...Is that really safer?I doubt...

   "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting", said EE Cummings, which is not only a formidable thing to do but also a bitter truth which the mob will superficially deny. Yet you inevitably have to face obstacles when you express your small-voiced desire of doing something that has been declared as "off-limits", either by people who think it is inappropriate,or by those who assume you to be "below the standards". Hence you go on to believe that probably you will forget about it if you don't give it a whole-hearted try or just a chance to sprout into a beautiful dream-come-true example.Yet at some point in the time ahead, where you tend to get restless with the monotony of life and wish to indulge in self-introspection, this tiny question will definitely haunt you:"Would it have worked out had I given it a chance and not succumbed to what everyone except my heart had said?" And henceforth,till perhaps your last days,you will keep dodging that question with endless excuses yet it will fail to convince you,because you DID NOT TRY. You did not have faith enough to step out of the line and experiment with your life,make it your never ending adventure.

   Hence these thoughts that creep into me from nowhere, uncannily drive me to the conclusion that being extra ordinary is at the end of the stair case; the first step is to allow yourself to try,simply try doing what you think you would love to do.Its this step which will take all the courage in the world, the freedom to defy, and the brave belief that you can gather yourself together in case of failure.And do not regret if you fail,it only happened because you needed to know how to get better, and where to start from.

   Pleasing or boring,as it may have seemed on paper,these thoughts will definitely urge you to think over, even if for a moment,and that one moment will throw light on all your unspoken desires and unaccomplished dreams.For those,who have been patient enough to reach this point,I will conclude [to the great relief of some of you] with the quote that "Most people are other people.  Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation". So says the author,Oscar Wilde.So what are you waiting for?Its high time you have an opinion of your own,being true to your originality.Your untouched colours are beckoning you...Go on and finish that painting you always wanted to see on the wall of your beloved house one day.....

Cheers to life!